Building
African American Families Through Internet Adoptions
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OPEN
ADOPTION:
THE
CHOICE OF A LIFETIME
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With
infertility on the rise, more childless African American couples
are turning to the Internet for adoption to build their families.
A growing number of families and infertile couples are turning on their
computers and clicking onto the Internet to find qualified resources to
help them adopt. The privacy to be able to research and read about adoption
in their own homes and the ease of use are allowing prospective families
to work with organizations across the country and around the world. Thousands
of prospective adoptive families have been able to safely adopt with resources
found on the Internet.
Verifying the track record and success rate of an organization is easily
done. Families can check with the Better
Business Bureau for a company's background and complaint record. Always
ask for references and visit a number of sites first before choosing to
work with a company.
Around 1996, adoption organizations began putting up websites to help families
come together. Now there are web sites like this
one with several pages of information on adoption. Our sister site, Lifetime
Adoption, has profiles of over 75 families, including African American
couples wanting to adopt, and an average of 85 birth mothers choosing adoption,
many who are seeking African American families.
Birth parents can read about the lifestyle of a prospective family and
view their photos before speaking to them on the phone. It is not uncommon
for a birth mother seeking a family to mail or call us and have found three
families she is interested in speaking to from our website.
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by
Mardie Caldwell
Adoptive
families and birth parents today have many choices with open
or semi-open adoption.
For the adoptive family, there is the comfort of knowing the family medical
history for your child and their genealogy. And when those inevitable
questions about heritage arise, parents can comfortably and openly tell
them about who they are and share from the heart to comfort their child.
Your child will know he or she was loved because of a loving choice their
birth parent made, an important fact you can share with them.
Birth parents have the opportunity to select the family that will parent,
nurture and guide their child through life. Not only can birth mothers
and fathers meet the family, many develop close personal bonds prior
to the birth. Some birth parents and grandparents even have an option
to remain in contact after the birth through photographs and letters.
Still others may request an occasional meeting.
Open adoption can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience where everyone
wins - especially the child.
As an adoptive mother and an adoption professional, I have seen a variety
of scenarios that work out beautifully with open adoption.
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Open
and Semi-Open Adoption Situations:
- Exchange
of letters and photos only - number of times a year pre-agreed
upon.
- Exchange
of letters and photos, through a non-family, 3rd party administrator.
- Adoptive
family website where photos of their child are posted for birth
mother viewing.
- Letters,
photos and occasional visits, which can take place at a park
or restaurant or in the family's home, as agreed upon.
- Extended
family scenario, where the birth mother is included as a family
member at holidays and other special occasions.
- No
contact until 18 years of age.
Whatever
level of openness is agreed upon, the choice is yours.
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The one
family type that is always in short supply is the African
American family. Black families interested in African
American newborns are normally matched with a birth mother
within a few months. Christian and Catholic, African American
families are also requested by birthmothers.
Statistics show that in the United States there are over 500 thousand
children in foster care; a majority of them are African American or
African American mixed children. One hundred thousand are waiting to
be adopted. With the Internet and sites like Lifetime
Adoption it is taking less than 14 months for most couples to adopt,
and less for African American families.
"Many calls come in on our 24 hour hotline," states a coordinator at
Lifetime."A birth mother wants to have her baby adopted immediately from
the hospital to avoid foster care altogether. When we receive that phone call
in the middle of the night, we are able to tell the birth mother about adoptive
families and then call a family immediately." Once the birth mother chooses
a family, they can meet at the hospital and the baby goes home with the adoptive
family. Although not all adoptions happen this way, many do. All legal expenses
are paid for by the adopting couple so there are no expenses to the birth families.
Since the adoption is private the process is much more confidential, allowing
the birth mother the freedom to share her plans only with whom she wishes. Adoptive
families should be aware they also need a home study and legal representation
to complete their adoption.
Lifetime states that birth parents range in age from 13 to 40 years
old. Most of their clients are in the 20's and 30's range and many
are requesting families of a particular faith. Some have children already
and for others this is their first pregnancy. Women can find help on
the Internet by accessing web sites from their library or friend's
computers if they don't have their own, although many birth parents
do have access to the Internet now. "We also have referrals from
pastors and priests all over the nation, seeking assistance for members
of their congregation who have found themselves or their daughters
with unplanned pregnancies," states Lifetime.
Birth mothers must provide proof of pregnancy and are given resources
to help them with their decision. Counseling is offered to women considering
adoption. Since birth parents are located all over the nation, they
are offered counseling in their hometown. Often for privacy or when
they are in a rural area, the option of phone counseling instead of
coming into a counseling office is provided.
For more
information about adopting a child or placing one for adoption,
please contact us, or visit Lifetime
Adoption.
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